Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
