Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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