try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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