so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I need water and some morals
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize