You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
