just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
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