so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
