summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
