We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
