ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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