Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
