I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
