I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
