Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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