Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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