i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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