actually, I'm a sock model
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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