i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If its not for food we ain't going out.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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