she smelled like a LAN party
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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