thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize