You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
