My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
