you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Still dying that you shit outside
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
