Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
