I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
