Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
please come you make the beer taste better
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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