My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
