I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
