she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
