shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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