dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
