No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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