All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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