My sheets look like a crime scene.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
