There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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