Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
