That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
