We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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