Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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