I take back everything I said about communal showers
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
