dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
