:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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