Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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