This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
