Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize