some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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