Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
