fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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