saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
