she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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