I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I deserve this hangover.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
