Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
