You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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