i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
