nut hugger
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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