I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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