They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
